I’ve been through more divorces than I care to count: A couple of husbands, some friends, employers, myself a few times. You name ’em. And as I’ve been doing my own self-reflecting, I realized that though I wished I had strong, unbiased support throughout the process, where I really needed the help was making the decision in the first place. I remember the internal arguing, the bargaining, the crowd-sourcing, the not trusting myself to know what’s right for me and mine. The hope. No. The fucking fear masquerading as hope … for something that just wasn’t reality. And I think about all the energy I wasted. And the time. The time that I can never get back.
I remember struggling through my first marriage before we were even married: Couples counseling before the knot was tied. “Relationships are hard work,” I remember being told, and hanging onto that thought for too fucking long. That divorce brought with it a bankruptcy, a foreclosure, and a burn-it-the-fuck-down-&-start-over opportunity. My second divorce gave me the gift of being a full-time single mom. 110% of the time. And we went from Irvine, CA to Milwaukee, WI to Long Lake, MN. And here I am – telling you my story. Offering myself as a source of support and insight and guidance.
I want you to know you don’t have to go it alone. I want you to know there’s someone who understands the fear. There’s someone who understands not wanting to go to your family or friends with your thoughts – I get the being scared of judgement. It feels like you’re fucked either way. But you’re not. I’m here to help. I want to be the help I was looking for when it was me. Na zdrowie.