Freedom is my why.

So, I was talking to a friend (and coworker) of mine about my goals for my divorce coaching business and he suggested I start following Rachel Pedersen on LinkedIn. I’m not super into social media these days – I scroll through it mindlessly when I want a quick mental break, or when I’m pooping, because I enjoy consuming small snip-its of information from entrepreneurs and updates from friends that go in one eyeball and out the other. But, what the hell – why not? I love her name and the way she spells it and the fact that she lives in Minnesota. We have so much in common. So, I began following her.

When I learned that she wrote a book called “unfiltered”, I bought it right away. Not because I’ve been especially impressed by her LinkedIn content, though I am. And not because I was particularly interested in the lessons the book contains, though I am. I bought it because I want to know what her unfiltered looks like compared to my unfiltered. I love being in the presence of people either physically or virtually or in writing or whatever, who squeeze that pit in their stomach down, down, down, and go out into the world as themselves. Honestly, not kindly. Not dickishly either, but honestly. And with respect for all others and their points of view.

One of the questions she asks in her book, which I’ve heard from others before as well, is what is your why for starting your own business? It’s important to get clear on that first thing, first thing. Without having a why, you don’t know what you’re working toward. I have about a million whys – because I want to be available to my daughters all the time, all the time. Because I want to be the help I was looking for when it was me. Because I want to make an impact. Because I want to change the world. Because I want to decide my monetary worth.

I have so many whys. But my biggest why is not my children or changing the world, it’s my own freedom. My freedom is my number one core value, and it took me a long, long time and a lot of struggle to realize that. And accept it. Because at first blush it sounds selfish & entitled, doesn’t it? If you would’ve asked me a year ago what my number one core value is, I would’ve said something like –

I dunno. My family, friends. Being open-minded. Empathetic. Compassionate. Not judgy. What the fuck? What even is a core value? Hah!

All these things sound lovely, don’t they? And I do value them. But to be my most unfiltered and honest, I don’t value any of them as much as I value my freedom. I have come to realize that there is nothing more important to me than doing what I want, when I want, and how I want. And I am the creator of my freedom. My freedom exists because of the daily decisions I make for myself and my children. All the way down to deciding whether they make their own sandwiches for dinner, or I make ’em for them.